A Living Legacy

On September 1st, 2010 my grandma, Shirley Tibbetts McAffee, left her earthly home and passed on to the other side where I’m sure she was greeted by loved ones with open arms. (I know most of you don’t necessarily need to know the details but to have them for myself I put them down.)

My grandma had battled colon cancer which had spread to her bones for nearly a year. She fought it until the day she died and she did so with such courage and faith. She was surrounded by family when she passed away. Several things come to mind when I think of her. She was a woman of unwavering faith. She mothered 10 children and was a grandmother to more than 30 grandkids and great-grandkids. She was a great cook; my favorites were her homemade bread, homemade ice cream, and applesauce cookies. She had a great sense of humor and loved spending time with family. She took great pride in her yard and garden. She spent her life serving others. The list could go on. More than anything I think she was a perfect example of quiet dignity. I will miss her but I’m so grateful she no longer suffers from the cancer.

Her funeral was on September 4th, 2010. Despite the circumstances that brought us all together, it was so great to be with the whole McAffee clan. In total I counted 59, and that doesn’t include the four that are serving missions (they were there in spirit). The 62 of them are so important to me in my life. We are very close as an extended family but going through this together made us even closer. At the beginning of the funeral my Grandpa wanted all the girl cousins (16 of us) to sing “I Am A Child Of God” and “I Often Go Walking”. If you know the McAffee’s you know that we tend to be a bit more on the emotional side. We were all worried we weren’t going to make it through the songs. We did fine until the last phrase of “I Often Go Walking” when it says
                    
                                          “For if I love blossoms and meadows and walking,
                                                            I learn how to love them,     
                                                          dear ‘Grandma’, from you."

 I’m not sure if the audience heard that last phrase because it was difficult to sing. My grandma had a love for flowers but in my mind the phrase had deeper meaning. She has taught me by word and example in several areas of life. The life sketch given by my aunt was beautiful and the talk my dad gave comforted and left an amazing spirit in the chapel. At the grave service my brother played the bagpipes. The final song he played was Amazing Grace. It was a beautiful ceremony. I know Grandma would have been pleased with the services and that we were able to laugh and cry and enjoy being with family. She has truly left a living legacy for all of us. A legacy I hope can be passed on.

Throughout the entire weekend I watched my grandpa as he said goodbye to a woman who had been the love of his life for over 50 years. This picture was taken in Hawaii in June. My parents took my grandparents to Hawaii and my mom took this picture of my grandparents on the beach. It is such a precious picture and depicts perfectly their relationship that will one day continue on the other side.



My cousin Nicki was supposed to have her bridal shower on that same day of the funeral in Logan with all the McAffee women but of course it had to be canceled. We had decided that Grandma wouldn’t have wanted Nicki to miss out on the opportunity to have her shower and spend time with the McAffee women (a highlight of any McAffee get together), so we gave her a surprise bridal shower later that day after the services were all over. The guys all went to my Grandpa’s house to watch football and do some clay pigeon shooting while the girls gathered at my aunt’s house for the shower. Nicki was so surprised, and although it wasn’t what it could have been if it would have been under different circumstances, it turned out great. It was fun to have that girl time to laugh and share in Nicki’s excitement about this new adventure in her life. I believe Grandma was there laughing right along with us.